detective beth childs. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
brandishes) wrote2017-07-07 04:46 pm
brandishes) wrote2017-07-07 04:46 pminbox || maskormenace
Hey, you've got Beth.
Hey, you've got Beth.
Hey, you've got Beth.
Hey, you've got Beth.
brandishes) wrote2017-07-07 04:46 pm
no subject
It works, at least for a moment. By the time she turns back to the passage and the no longer teenage edition of her friend, Beth already feels her throat easing and her chest relaxing, and she doesn't waste any time. They aren't huggers, the only one was That Night. Months ago now for Beth, hours ago for MK, and the memory isn't one she wants to revisit any time soon but still she steps in closer and reaches out to pull MK in towards her. Her arms wrap around her shoulders and she holds her in tight.
It's exactly what she'd wanted to do on the beach, and she hadn't, and Beth had felt the weight of regret on her heart ever since that moment. )
I'm going to keep you safe. We're going to be safe. ( Her chin touches MK's shoulder and she swallows hard. It's not a promise she can make. Even as she says it the knowledge of what lies ahead lingers in the back of her mind, and maybe she should feel bad about making promises she can't keep, but intentions count for something, right? And God, what she wouldn't sacrifice to keep this person safe. ) I'm not going anywhere this time.
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Truthfully, though, when was the last time MK ever actually relaxed? She'd probably not be able to remember, if she took the time to think it over. Instead, Beth is facing her again and pulling her closer, and if it were almost anyone else MK would fight against it, quite literally. Instead, though her body tenses up on reflex, she awkwardly brings her arms up to hug Beth back. She left. Beth left her, and she's furious and devastated in the same breath, so her hands grip tight at the back of Beth's shirt.
She wants to ask Beth how, how she can keep them safe when she's gone and how is MK meant to watch the others and keep them safe from the shadows, how can she do anything when every time she touches the life of another clone it turns to ashes? Maybe even Jade would have been safer without MK. It feels so distant and so raw, thinking of Jade, and there is the horror of knowing that Beth knows about Helsinki now, knows that MK never told her, because Beth was so fragile and she still pushed her too far and too hard, even being so cautious.
But maybe she'd never been cautious enough to protect Beth, never in ways that were meaningful. She's corroded all these parts of her life without giving her the support to keep from collapsing. If Beth was fragile, MK was the weight that had helped crush her.
She can't get a word out, at first, just a deeply unhappy, pained sound that stutters in her throat, as she hugs Beth tighter. ) I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
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All along her decision had been to protect them. To protect her loved ones, her sisters, from the horrors she'd dragged them all into, and it hadn't even worked. It's a cruel joke really, and now that she's physically holding the evidence that it was all for nothing it's a wonder Beth hasn't fallen apart entirely.
The sound rips through her and she holds MK tighter, closer, as if the very space between them was a threat to be removed. Her empty promises are just that, Beth can't guarantee safety here any more than the poor attempts she made at home, but she wants them to be true more than she's wanted anything. She would have killed for her sisters - for this sister - and that hasn't changed, at least. )
Don't. ( So maybe she isn't holding it together quite as much any more. Her voice hitches, her eyes squeeze tight, and she can't quite force her body to relax. If she's not physically restraining herself somehow, there's no knowing how deep down the rabbit hole she'll fall. She can't afford to fall apart, not now. Not here. ) It wasn't you. It wasn't. This shit-- fuck. It was me, I shouldn't have listened.
no subject
iced tea could still be a ritual to bring comfort, in either case. That was something.
MK's hold on Beth does not loosen, just as Beth's hold on her is persistent, topples past persistent into desperate. )
If I'd left you all alone, you'd never have known—
( Her breath skips and catches, and she has to be quiet for a second. )
You would never have gone near Neolution or DYAD. I forced you into this.
( The same way she forced Niki into it, and she shuts her eyes tight shut. Part of her is hurt and so angry with Beth, but all the heat in it feels deflated with the reality of Beth in front of her, alive and real. )