detective beth childs. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
brandishes) wrote2017-07-07 04:46 pm
brandishes) wrote2017-07-07 04:46 pminbox || maskormenace
Hey, you've got Beth.
Hey, you've got Beth.
Hey, you've got Beth.
Hey, you've got Beth.
brandishes) wrote2017-07-07 04:46 pm
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( Probably. No, she's sure she doesn't. Like it or not, Beth knows desperation far too intimately to ever truly hold Sarah accountable for what happened after her death. She's angry and hurt, sure, but mostly she's just jealous. It might have been chaotic, but how nice it seems to her to have a handful more days to be allowed a life, even if it wasn't really her. She wanted those days, weeks, however long she managed to get away with it. Beth wanted that time, and Sarah--
well the point is, her anger is all over the place. No one died, she has to keep reminding herself of that. No one died, because of what Sarah did.
No one except Beth. )
Look, I know you're protective of her. Of them all, but so was I. ( if a voice could sound like a scowl and a sob at the same time, it might just sound like Beth's voice right now. ) I didn't jump because I couldn't hack it.
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( There's a long pause, there. ) I put them all in danger, here. I made a real bad decision that I thought would keep them all safe, but I wound up—
( A shaky breath. ) I fucked up real bad. I think... no matter why you jumped, it's not because you couldn't hack it, or something. It's never that simple, and I don't reckon the people still standin' got any place trying to slap labels on the whys, and that.
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( What a joke. What an absolute, monumental, cosmic joke of a coincidence. She has half a mind to clear out of the cities entirely, get away from all these people, maybe scream until her lungs explode.
Instead she just sips her drink. ) I think they all think I just had enough. It's easier like that.
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Now, if I were Cosima, this is where I'd tell you that I'm much better looking, so as if. ( Her delicate ego, savaged by Cosima tbh. Lightly, ) If you get a penchant for tall blonde mafia princesses, then we gotta start getting concerned.
And, uh. I don't think losing someone you love is ever easy. 'Specially not like that.
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( What if she just keeps joking about their horrid love life? What if she just keeps drinking and laments about Paul a little, and then maybe Sarissa will think Beth jumped off of the train to make all of her problems go away too. What if she just hangs up and is done with the lot of them? Except Cosima, maybe.
What if she just tells Sarissa the truth that's been weighing against her chest ever since she arrived here? What if she just said the words aloud, "I didn't kill myself, Dyad killed me" and let the others make their judgements, for better or for worse? Would it even make her feel any better, for another soul to know the truth? Would it make them feel any better? )
If I promise to forgive our dear sister, will you tell me more about this mafia princess?
( What if she just lets it eat away at her insides instead? )
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( Flippant, like one of them didn't murder her, isn't the threat she was describing before. Like he didn't target Cosima and Sarah just because he knew what they were to her.
She should tell Beth that she isn't a clone, that they aren't really sisters. Cosima and Alison and Sarah, they hadn't known, and they just took her in and they—
Well, frankly she had a bunch of arguments with them and all parties had reasons to dislike her. She was obnoxious, but they'd still adopted her and taken her in, and for a while thinking she was a clone, of them, that these were the people she shared genetics with and not the shit show of her real family, it had been such a relief. It made her feel like maybe she wasn't something Frankenstein stitched together.
Biological family, not real. This still felt like real family.
She misses Alison. Ali reminded her of Artemisia Gentilesci; underestimated, doubted, but so powerful and accomplished. They both overcame so much, and she didn't doubt that Gentileschi's and Ali's were equal. Granted, she's not sure the images of murder and brutality fit Ali so well, (there's a lot she doesn't know about Alison Hendrix) but the strong women and Biblical themes, and the contrast and the strength in all those paintings, and Gentileschi being so accomplished... that all seemed to fit Ali.
They're all art and poetry and different elements thrown together, and Sarissa adores them all, and she's not sure it's okay to say all that. She's tried a few times, clumsily, but it's not really her place, is it? And once she leaves this place, she'll never see them again.
She and Beth have that in common, although she's under no illusions she's had it worse than Beth. )
If you promise to give her a chance, I'll tell you more about Georgia. Expecting you to flick a switch and be fine with Sarah'd be weird, or the switch could just flip right back. We ain't bleedin'... emotionless toaster... things. ( A snap of her fingers, ) Automatrons, that's the word.
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( Wouldn't she just love that. A life where she didn't care about Paul, about Art-- about her sisters. It could be a very different life. It would still be a life that she could lead.
But there's no point dwelling in 'what if's, is there? What's done is done. Beth Childs is dead, for whatever good or harm it might have ultimately done. )
I'll try, I really will. It's- We all do stupid things when we're desperate, I guess. ( Lord knows she's done enough of them herself.
And she tries to make her voice sound a little lighter, a little less serious as she continues. ) But you've got to give me the good stuff, deal?
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( A heavy sigh. She doesn't really know how to talk to Beth, but she doesn't know how to talk to most people much of the time. She's got the suspicion that's the case for most people, deep down, just some are better at faking it until they make it than others. )
Sure. You wanna know about proposing via crossword puzzle, or should I just skip to how she faked her death and me getting arrested for murder?
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( When she'd asked Sarissa to expand on her tragic dating history she had expected maybe a cheating scandal at worst, honestly. Beth had wanted a distraction, but was expecting the phone call equivalent of a trashy gossip magazine. But Sarissa drops 'faked her death' and suddenly this all gets a whole lot more interesting than Beth could ever have expected.
Low key it's a little nice that she's not got the most disastrous relationship history in the history of the clones, too, but that's neither here nor there. )
Now you've got me, because a crossword puzzle is cute as hell but how am I supposed to focus on that when there's an honest-to-God set up story waiting?