inbox || maskormenace

[brandishes]

Hey, you've got Beth.

Comments

[brandishes]

She managed to lock down a wife, I think the evidence objectively speaks for itself. When we're all married we can reassess.

It's true, the inventive/practical balance is a hard one to strike but I think the dildo really manages to walk that line.
But I mean the last gift I gave out was a toaster so I'm definitely part of the tragically boring problem.

[magnitudes]

you make marriage sound like a prison sentence
like she lured Paddington into a bear trap or something

and Georgia would have married me if shit hadn't gotten blown sideways for reasons that have nothing to do with me, so like
I'm gonna say that I could also be married, without making it sound like punishment, thanks for that ya fruit loop

in fairness with the toaster: was it the kind that could do those frozen waffles?

[brandishes]

Old habits. Marriage is a beautiful sacrament etc etc.
But I suppose that counts. Still got to wait for me and Sarah to get on the board before we can do a new ranking, right? Could be waiting a while.

( does sarissa know about MK? sarah could have told her, of course, it'd hardly be wrong to, but beth won't be the one to bring her up if she can help it. god knows she can't imagine the girl would like that all that much, and she doesn't need any more reasons for MK to lash out at her.

she still remembers that trash can lid, damnit. )

Of course it did, I'm not an animal.

[magnitudes]

yeah
still not sure how we would have reconciled the issues with Greek Orthodox and Catholic services and neither being crash hot on gay marriage
anyway whatever its not like I care anymore

( whats an mk
is it a type of cookie. )

there see that's like waffles and orgasms are both important

[brandishes]

Look I can't tackle the problems of thousands of years of deep rooted problems in religious organisations, I'll need a couple weeks at least you know?

( definitely sounds like you don't care at all sarissa, beth totally believes u ........ )

If you've got those two things squared away you're basically set in life, right? Hopefully anyway, a two item to-do list is easy to tackle, anything longer is just hassle.

[magnitudes]

🙏 🙏 🙏 thanks mate detect the shit outta the solution

what if I made my list

1. inner peace
2. a meaningful existence

[brandishes]

...Things went from 0 to heavy real fast there. If you figure out how to get either of those things, you've got to share the secrets. Pretty sure the other list is a lot less work.

( y u do this to her girl )

[magnitudes]

welcome 2 life with sarissa

☀️ sun
🌊 surf
🧀 fine cheese
💡🌩️ existential crisis

[brandishes]

A winner of a dating profile blurb if I ever saw one.

Did you grow up surfing, or is that one of those australia stereotypes as credible as the riding a kangaroo to school business?

( gently...veers.....away....from....feelings.... )

[magnitudes]

( but FEELINGS, Beth )

mate I'm rural, proper big cities and beaches were both hours away
we had a river with a fuck off big jump into it, though

did you grow up riding moose and only communicating in variations of "eh" and "sorry"?

[brandishes]

( no feelings!!!! )

Did you grow up on a farm? Was there animals?

Both.

Nah, no mooses, but there is a lot of eh's and sorry's. Can't say I drop them too much but that stereotype is at least somewhat accurate.

[magnitudes]

In town, kinda, but I spent a lot of time it at my uncle's place. Sheep station. Lots of sheep, obvs, some dogs and horses and chooks.

What about you? City kid, I'm guessing?

[brandishes]

That's kind of cool, actually. I don't think I've even seen undomesticated animals outside the zoo. I do feel like I need to ask if you were the Horse Girl when you were younger, though?

Pretty much as city as they come, down to the can't sleep without traffic sounds cliche. Never even camped.

[magnitudes]

oh my god REALLY
you should come to me and Sarah's sometimes, we got pigs
I wanna get some sheep too but I reckon Saroula'll say no
what's that Horse Girl thing mean, but? Is it like the Elephant Man? Because if it is, then I'll have some colourful words for you, that poor guy had it rough

what's it like, being a flimsy little marshmallow in human form?

[brandishes]

She doesn't strike me as a sheep person, but admittedly that's based entirely off of first impressions.

( And a handful of emotional drunk dials, but y'know. We're not talking about feelings. )

I'm not calling you the elephant man, yikes. I know I'm cunty but I'm not that harsh. No, everyone has met at least one person who is Obsessed with horses, right? She usually has at least one horse, or she goes out to ride them, competes in shows, has a horse pencil case, social media profile pic is either the horse or her with the horse.

The fifteen minute order to door pad thai is amazing, thanks for asking.

1/?

[magnitudes]

wait a minute

2/?

[magnitudes]

wait wait wait

3/?

[magnitudes]

wait

4/?

[magnitudes]

okay coppy mccoperson
okay
alright no i got this

[magnitudes]

so basically if a little girl has a hobby that she's passionate about, and something she's maybe good at
then it's funny to make fun of her for talking about that thing she's excited about?

6/6

[magnitudes]

seriously fuck you a little bit, that's shitty as

and thai food is gross

[brandishes]

( well that escalated quickly. )

I'm not begrudging the youth their passions dude, everyone has their thing. I was so obsessed with Scooby Doo as a kid that I'd try to make anyone who gave me the time of day play at pretending to be the characters with me at lunch. Every damn day. Girls hobbies: aces. Grown women that still only want to talk about their horse and hang pictures and posters in their office cubicle, it's just weird. If that makes me shitty I can live with that.

( she absolutely thinks that sarissa is a horse girl now )

1/2

[magnitudes]

oh

[magnitudes]

my bad i was just remembering some girls in my class who got made fun of by the boys for being really into horses and stuff

no yeah fair mate adults doing it is weird as

but if this is code for you saying you want a t-shirt with horses and love-hearts on it for Christmas
then just make any kind of response at all
and I will understand

[brandishes]

Boys are jerks, school boys are the worst. Although I guess at least there's the mild justification that they're young and stupid, men are just shit without any excuses.

( #issues )

This is absolutely not code for me saying I want a t shirt with horse and heart decor on it.
Please don't do that to me.
I can't have that kind of thing lurking around the house I'll have to burn it to be sure it won't haunt me.